Supersize me…

Hi all. What you are about to hear is gonna sound mighty strange, you may think I’m pulling your hindquarter, but I swear – it’s true –  SOMEBODY SUPER-SIZED A COCKATIEL!! Yes that’s right folks – some crazy person has gone and enlarged to giant proportions Kostya, the tiny ‘tiel who lives in my backyard at home, and turned HIM INTO SOME GIANT SQUEALING BEAST OF A BIRD WITH AN EVIL HOOKED BEAK AND NASTY RASPING SHARP TALONS!!!!! Ohhh it was hideous – I don’t know how he got to my nanna’s house but it was like a nightmare I tell you. Worse still, dad was showing affection to this ugly creature – in preference to moi!!?? Hello people – what’s gone wrong with the world – is this some strange parallel universe I ask you??!!

My loyal readers will know from earlier posts just how much love I have for my tiny cockatiel companions (Er…that would be about none to the uninitiated…).

So can you imagine my absolute joy to be suddenly competing for dad’s affections with a monster (and I don’t mean my mum people – though she can be perfectly awful at times too). Anyway look at the evidence and judge for yourself, am I right or am I right people?  Evil…

…hideous

BEAST!!!!!

PARENT STEALER!!!!!!!

Suddenly I was awoken from my exhausted slumber…was it all just a bad bad dream!!!??? HALLELUJAH PEOPLE!!!  ….it was really just my new stuffed duck toy the whole time…or was it??!!!!

Postscript: Dear readers I later found out it wasn’t a dream at all – the beast was really dad’s mum’s pet cockatoo!!! I mean seriously  – it’s bad enough having to deal with a cockatiel or three – this was ridiculous!  Worse still I was told  I couldn’t bark at her (turned out it was a she), and worst of all I couldn’t even glare at her contemptuously  – I was ordered to show her respect…so what if she’s nearly 40 and older than dad!!!! JEEPERS CREEPERS!

© Beatrice Bella Fauve and Bella Vizsla, 2010.

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