Parlez-vous canine?


Sacré Bleu!

Okay okay I know the French don’t really use that phrase but holy dawdling ducklings…how lucky are those French hounds!!? Not only are they allowed EVERYWHERE (and I mean in cafes, restaurants, cinemas and department stores) but they also have driving privileges!  Check out these photos my parents took in a place called La Chaise-Dieu in the Auvergne. Typical French driver – looks like he ran into a bit of traffic ‘eh!

Anyway there are apparently more pet pooches per head of population in France than anywhere else in the world! With the type of luxury demonstrated below in the French city of Auch I’m not surprised any self respecting European hound would make a pee line for Provence!

And the city of Auch brings me once again to my favourite subject – the humble duck. And what, my friend, is nearly the only thing better than a duck?  Yes that’s right my loyal followers…A FRENCH DUCK!

And what is the only thing better than A FRENCH DUCK…? Of course that would be….A DEAD FRENCH DUCK..!

Just kidding, just kidding! As you know by now I’m something of a duck connoisseur voyeur – meaning I just like to watch and point feebly as they paddle away (that would be as opposed to stalking, and taking gratuitous pleasure as I use my powerful hind legs to launch off the creek bank and land with a single magnificent leap in the middle of the flock scaring the living…er ahem…sorry, sorry, forgot myself there momentarily…).

Anyway apparently there is some kind of national obession in old Fron-say with these little quackers lovely little waterfowl as evidenced below…tre fantastique!

What I don’t understand is…for a country that has such good taste in some respects…what could possibly explain the urge to eat THIS….!?

I will get in such big trouble for that comment if mum and dad read this, they love all types of French food INCLUDING (cough up a fur-ball people…!) SNAILS!!!!) (I bet they only call them ESCARGO so you arn’t reminded you’re actually eating a big sticky slimey snail…and guess what people…check it out –  they have eyes for God-sakes!!

While the thought of tucking into a big bowl of escargo doesn’t melt my muzzle the idea of raiding les saucisses does…I’m no vegan Vizsla that’s for sure (though I’d have to think about it awhile before I hoed into these donkey sangers…I mean they’re related to horses arn’t they? – whoa – back off Julia Childs, some of my best friends are horses lady!)

What I’d MUCH prefer is to go  snuffle a truffle… just a sniff mind you (and maybe a bit shaved over my poached eggs in the morning?).

Well it’s getting late so I’d better draw Part 1 of my French odyssey to a close and get these pics back into mum’s  photo album before she notices they’re missing (gnawed and slightly slobbery – especially the duck ones…).

I’ll leave you with two last ones. Wish they had brought me back this book from that market in NYC…

Would have helped me with my parlez-vous Anglais to this uppity Parisian ice maiden they brought back from their last trip – no matter how much I bark at her she stares straight ahead and completely ignores me. Haughty cow. The arrogance of the French ‘eh. Merde!

Oh well this is me signing off for today and striking my best French pose…Au Revoir peasants!


NOTE:

(a) No ducks or snails were harmed in the writing of this blog.

(b) Okay, there might have been some slobber, but I don’t think that counts as actual harm.

(c) And I know already that it’s supposed to be Leda and the Swan but I wanted an extra silly duck picture…so now you got Leda and the Duck kiddos!

(d) I summarily apologise to the French. They are wonderful, have always been so and everything about France is tre fantastique!

(e) They very nearly called me Cassoulet instead of Bella – close call ‘eh!

(f) That dog wasn’t really driving officer…honest.

© Beatrice Bella Fauve and Bella Vizsla, 2010.

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